Melancholy…

mel·an·chol·y/ˈmelənˌkälē/   Adjective: Sad, gloomy, or depressed.

I’ve been feeling melancholy lately… I’m not able to put my finger on exactly what it causing it.

It may have something to do with the music I’ve been into lately.
For example… I’ve just discovered Sam Bradley (who I really like!)
Here are the words to one of his songs called Sea Blue:

Sky is clearin, city scrapes my eyes
Ocean is not movin, I cry
Wind blows through the doorway
It chills me to the core
Sea blue on the horizon
I can’t feel blue for that much longer
So pack up your belongings
And crystallize your conscience
To live for love is clearly nonsense
We seem to need a whole lot more
The world’s steady population
Defines that you’re the only one
Been fooled my many imitations
I’m done, I’m done
So kiss the world goodnight now
It’s you I want to hold
Rain at my window
These walls don’t shelter cold
So pack up your belongings
And crystallize your conscience
To live for love is clearly nonsense
We seem to need a whole lot more
(guitar)
So pack up your belongings
And crystallize your conscience
To live for love is clearly nonsense
We seem to need a whole lot more
The sky is clearin’
City scrapes on lies
Ocean is not movin’
I cry

Here is the video for this song…


Who knows… maybe it is just that I’m getting older, but I don’t *feel* older.
I posted a bunch of pictures from camp years gone by recently on facebook.  I look at myself through the years and see myself changing size and shape, and maybe looking a little older, but I still feel like that girl I see in the pictures. 
 
I’ve also run across pictures of myself from high school.  In one I’m wearing a half-shirt (yes people I did actually wear a half shirt) and I can see my stomach muscles.  I think it just makes me sad that I’m not so young and carefree anymore.
 
NOT SAYING THAT I WANT TO EXCHANGE WHAT I HAVE FOR THAT – just remembering how fun and free-spirited I was.
 
I posted to one of the teens from church recently that she needed to enjoy each day of her senior year because that young freedom only comes at that one stage of your life.  I even admitted to being spun in circles by another student while he held me by my ankles.
If someone picked me up by my ankles to swing me now I don’t know what I’d do.  Have a heart attack maybe?
 
Okay… now no one start getting concerned.  I’m not so blue that I’m going to do anything crazy (though a nose piercing has been mentioned in many conversations recently).  I just felt the need to vent it out.
And now I’m going to go back to listening to my melancholy music.
…because that’s what we do, isn’t it – when we’re down we listen to music that feeds our mood instead of reversing it?
 
SCRATCH THAT – I’m gonna listen to something that makes me want to dance.
(If you haven’t gotten to Britney Spears yet… she’s #2 on the playlist below)

I admit it…

I’m a Twihard.


Just finished the books (Monday 3/21).  Can’t get them out of my head.
Then I found out that one of my favorite songs on someone else’s playlist was from Twilight… hadn’t ever paid attention to that before.

I’m Team Edward and, though I’ve never been attracted to Rob Pattinson before (outside of a random interview), I find him delicious after reading Edward and having him as the picture in my head.
I haven’t seen the movies (but I will soon)… but the description of Edward in the books and the previews for the movies that I have seen makes it hard to separate the two.

Though I did think he was “cute” as Cedric Diggory…
Then, I found out that RP sings.  Sorry to torture you, but I’ve added his songs to my playlist.
The first two are the same song, but by different names.  I love it enough that I hate for it to end.  Now at least, it can play twice back to back for me.  (And I can loop it on my itunes and listen to it over and over again).  Wish I’d had the song to play in the background as I read.
I never got the whole Twilight mania until I read the books.  Amazing what books can do for you, isn’t it?  They just transport you to another time and place.

Barney sings a song about checking out a book from the library and in it is says, “You can have an adventure in a faraway land, you can learn about a tuba in a marching band, you can travel to the stars or the deep blue sea when you check out a book from the library.”

A couple months ago I spent several days in the nation of Panem fighting for my life and trying to figure out which boy I actually loved…

Real or Not Real? 
(I’m seriously thinking about getting that as a tattoo, but not what is pictured here … just the words…)

Recently, I’ve been in England learning magic and fighting an evil, evil sorcerer…

and just this past week I’ve been in the Northwest U.S. (with side trips to Italy and the Caribbean) living with Vampires and trying not to love a Werewolf.  Oh – how I get wrapped up in what I’m reading!!!  I can imagine I’m right there with the characters!

I love reading.  But I will be taking a much necessary break for the rest of this week before picking up another book.  I need to sleep normal hours and focus on doing the stuff that needs to be done (like laundry, dishes, and packing up the years worth of too-small Ella-clothes burying the guest bed). 

I’ll miss Cullens…we’ll start over again some day.  I’ll see you soon on my t.v depending on how patient I can be before I start watching the movies…and when they start arriving in my mail from Netflix…

What a Weekend!

We had a great weekend this past weekend. Friday morning brought a playdate at Chesterfield Town Center with our good friends Amy/Jackson and Katie/John. It is amazing how much the kids have grown!
Jackson, John & Ella March 2010
John, Jackson & Ella March 2011
And from one of the very earliest playdates we had with Amy & Jackson
October 2, 2009 compared with Friday’s playdate (March 11, 2011):
We are superbly blessed!
Of course, all that fun led into an incredible weekend in Lynchburg visiting Jeff’s grandmother, aunt & uncle.
Aunt Margaret is a GREAT sport!

Of course, it can’t all be singing and roses, right? Ella woke up in the middle of the night Friday night with a fever. Luckily, Margaret and I were watching the 6 hours of Pride & Predjudice (with Colin Firth) so we just medicated her and let her sit up with us for a bit. Fever stayed up most of the day Saturday, but that didn’t stop Ella from playing or getting lots of love.
Reading with Aunt Margaret
Wearing Uncle Kenny’s boots!

“Riding” the tricycle. Maybe next time she’ll be able to do it herself!
Playing with a cat named “Little Dog” named after a cat named “Dog”
Really, it was hard to know she was even sick! Ella also got to pet a baby duck (and a grown up duck).
It was a busy weekend!! And – here’s a rare treat – we got a family picture:
It isn’t a great one (Jeff’s eyes are closed), but we’re all looking in the direction of the camera.
We’ll just imagine that he is praying his thankfulness to God for us. (hee hee hee).
Today has been a bit dramatic…which is all I could expect following a great weekend, right?
We had to skip Bible study today because while Ella’s fever dropped yesterday morning, it wasn’t quite 24 hours and I didn’t want to risk infecting anyone else. Then at breakfast, Ella informed me that she’d put a puff up her nose. So a trip to the pediatrician got substituted into our morning.

No puffs in her nose, but she has congestion in her lungs and a red throat so she got tested for strep & flu – both negative (thankfully). She has the same sinus issues I do, but she’s too young for any of the good treatments so we headed to Target with our prescription for an antihistimine. That took another hour so it was 3:00 before I got her close to her crib to nap.
It took her forever to wind down and doze off, but I think we actually accomplished that, too.
And now I’m just trying to relax a bit before making dinner (super easy thanks to Aunt Margaret sending homemade meatballs & sauce home with us!).  Anyway…
Happy Pi Day to all!


Let’s Try This Again

I long to be a good blogger.  I want to sit here everyday and open a window (not a door, though) into my mind and my life and share it with others.

Why don’t I?  Because it takes time and dedication.  Most days, those things are cherished gifts.

Most afternoons (Mon-Fri) you will find me sitting here at my desk and on a computer, but I spend a lot of that time working on church related stuff.  I love being the AV/Techie person at church, but after working on that, updating my facebook, and then reading the blogs of all the other “good bloggers” that I follow I find that I haven’t taken time to update my own blog.  Awful of me…right?

Oh well… I’ve decided to re-dedicate myself to my blog even if that means I play Mahjong Titans a bit less (seriously, I can veg on that for a good long while).

This week has been an interesting one…
Sunday was a beautiful day… it started off early with me playing a VBS recruiting video in our first service, then whisking the computer off to praise team practice.  Sunday School followed that…
Then the 11:00 service.  We were singing one of my favorite songs this week called Distracted.  This is a song that I, myself, brought to our group.  Of course, I brought it on the day that a friend was subbing for our regular guitarist (who is a LEGEND in the Richmond Area: Danny Hughes).  My friend KNOWS Distracted – as in plays and sings it without music and without hesitation.  I am not that comfortable with the song and neither is the group.  Well…our discomfort showed when we false-stared it TWICE…during the service…with visitors in the audience.  So embarrassing!!!

Sunday night The Bean got sick after showing no evidence of it coming.  That led to a sleepless night for me.  She didn’t get sick again, but I jumped up to check on her with every noise she made.  Fun.
Monday brought more sickness (of the opposite end) from El, but only for four hours.

Tuesday was a nice day.  We got together with some friends after Ella had been “sick-free” for more than 24 hours.  They were willing to take the risk of exposure and (thankfully) no one in their clan got sick.

Wednesday we chilled at home and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned.  We even washed the dog.  She was NOT happy…
But I was happy and the house smelled better so that is what counted.  On a side note- Maggie turned 11 years old on Monday!!!  She was my first “baby”.
Wednesday night I went to church to facilitate a Bible Study (loving leading…a new experience for me!  Will have to write about that tomorrow, maybe.)  While enjoying conversation in our small group about the book of Revelation, I got a text from Jeff that El’s dinner didn’t stay down.  Huh?
Anyway – still no fever or any other sign of illness and this time no “other” sick stuff.  I did sleep better last night.
Today brought running errands this morning and then heading to church to run the bulletin.  One of those errands was picking up toner for the big printer/copier at church only to find out once there that we didn’t need toner…we needed a new imaging unit.  So, we’ll be back at church tomorrow to print the bulletin and such.  Not like we could meet friends to play – not sure what is up with The Bean and whatever the “illness” is.
Even with all that – I still Love My Life that I’m living.  (hence the new blog title)
We Love OUR Life because the life I blog about isn’t just mine.  First, it is God’s and He is just letting me live it.  I’m going to start doing my best just for that reason.  Second, since Ella gets mentioned a lot I figure it is her life too.
I’m toying with paying the $10 to make my blog have its own site instead of having the .blogspot part.  Trying to come up with a good permanent name (that isn’t evieloucronin).
So there you have it… it is Thursday afternoon and I just realized I never ate lunch.  Why do I do that?  So busy feeding The Bean I forget to feed myself…
Oh – just because the pics are too cute not to share.  We had BEAUTIFUL weather in Richmond on Friday.  It beckoned us to Maymont to see the animals and enjoy the sun.  We met Amy & Jackson and Melissa, Skyler, & Emerson there.  Here are some pics:
Ella & Skyler watching the fox

Skyler, Jackson, & Ella in the eagle’s nest

Ella stealing love from Amy during lunch
Okay…here’s to me being a better blogger!

Happy Birthday, Ella Louise!

My baby is two today…
I’m not sad…just in disbelief that it has really been two years since:
Two years ago I discovered love as I never knew it existed.
Ella Louise Cronin!
We had her party this morning.  It had a ladybug theme & the whole place was red & black.  Even the tables got decorated as ladybugs.
Two Years ago there was no cake…this year, I baked & decorated a cake:

And since we had another cake left over after we altered the design, we decorated a 2nd cake: 
 Each cake part/layer had a different flavor.  The “Ella Louise is 2” was French Vanilla Cake, the head and top of the ladybug were Chocolate cake and the bottom of the ladybug was Fudge/Vanilla swirl.
It was a lot of fun filled with family & friends.
We are blessed:
Ella, today as you turn two here are some things you need to know:
You love to play.
You LOVE to sing and dance.
You like ladybugs, but this was your bday theme because your mom found that costume cheap and decided it would be great for your party.
You almost know who Cinderella is.  (This is very important.)
 You like to kiss your friends goodbye – this causes a great stir.
You like to sing the ABCs and make me sing it faster & faster.
You love “Where O Where is the Red Stop Sign” and insist I sing it over and over as we ride in the car.  You’ve gotten good at pointing out stop signs, too.
You love to run and laugh when you fall down (most of the time).
You are learning your right from your left.
You love all our pets and never hold Monkey’s crabbiness against him.
Your playmates are Jackson West, John Kottmeier, Becca Hatcher, Juan Esteban, Nate Brown, Hannah Shelton, and Taylor Boothe.
Of those playmates, we call Jackson your “boyfriend”
You adore Katie Quinn, Charlotte Rich, & Caity Brightwell and never mind that I leave you with them.  You just say, “Bye Mommy” and never cry.
You also adore your “Aunt” B.Jo – who loves you just as much.
Your Pop dotes on you like there is no tomorrow.
Your Mac thinks the sun rises and sets on you.
Your Papa becomes a teddy bear of a man like we’ve never seen.
Your Nana loves to find the cutest things for you
 (like the ladybug socks you’ve worn this week.)
Your Daddy thinks all day about coming home and playing with you.
Your Mommy can’t imagine a better life than being your mommy.
Your aunts & uncles adore you.
Uncle Warren & Aunt Ray-Ray can’t wait to live close enough to be at your parties every year and to visit you often.
You are blessed to have three great-grandmothers living: your G.G. (mommy’s grandmother), your Nanny (daddy’s grandmother), and Grandma Cox (daddy’s other grandmother).
You also have a couple of Aunts who would treat you like their own grandchild instead of as a Niece – Aunt Margaret & Aunt Carla.
And you have a great-great-aunt who never misses anything you do – your E.E.
You are one incredibly LOVED child.
Happy Birthday, Ellabean!!!
Mommy loves you.

Charmed Life…

I have lived a charmed life.  Can I admit that here?  Yes, there have been dark times (years spent fighting with my dad who is now one of my closest friends…a divorce…friendships lost), but when I look back over my life so far…I have led a charmed one.

It started in Richmond, VA but at just over 1 year of age my parents packed up and moved to Roanoke Bible College.  There I led a life of beauty and fun.  Finding my dad in the towering shelves of the library…eating lunch in the cafeteria…climbing in the Crape Myrtles along the main road…  I loved being a child on campus.  I am still friends with a few people who were my playmates (check out Neal Alligood’s blog) and the adults who adored me then still make me feel as adored as ever.

That is NOT Neal in the above photo…

While a student at RBC, my dad also preached at Roanoke Acres Church of Christ in Manteo, NC.  I grew up during those years with my feet firmly planted in Outer Banks sand on the weekends.  I loved the people there and still do love them.  We go to see them as often as we can.  Jeff often teases me that I act like a princess…well, honey, the people in Manteo started that.  There exists no other place on earth where I walk in and I am still the center of attention…though Ella has started to steal my spotlight on visits.

There was plenty of charm between Kindergarten and 8th grade, but you may fall asleep so I’m going to fast forward to my high school life.  Oh, how I LOVED HIGH SCHOOL!  Today on Richmond Mommies someone posted asking us about who we were in high school.  Here is my response:

I was friends with everyone. I was the DD for the getting-drunk rich kids and I could kick some boy butt in a game of Magic with my geeky friends. I went to every dance but the prom of my freshman year. I also won the School Spirit award two years in a row!   I LOVED HIGH SCHOOL! If I’d be promised that I’d have Ella all over again, I’d go back and do it again in an instant.

It is true…if I knew I would get to have Ella all over again, I’d head on back and relive those four years.  Sure, there was heartache and some shed tears (always over dumb boys), but I was in the band and friends with every sort of person in the school…even the girls with thick eye makeup who normally might have pummeled me.  Here is one of my favorite pictures with my band uniform:

Oh, how I loved being in the band…being a good student (but not so good that I made it into NHS – just wasn’t a goal for me)…having friends…going on trips…DISCOVERING STARBUCKS!!!

You know, there was a group of us who frequented the Starbucks across from Innsbrook (the first one in Richmond) that they CLOSED THE STORE and threw a graduation party for us when that time came.  We invited our friends and got to drink a lot of free coffee and eat anything out of the case that hadn’t be purchased that day.  What fun!!

Then I went back to RBC…for one year.  It was as wonderful as I ever imagined it.  Some of my childhood friends were there, too – two as students and one a high school senior who would be attending the next year.
But I got my heart broken and ran home that following summer.  You know, if I have any regrets in my life it would be that I left RBC.  I had made Master’s 12 as a freshman – my dream since childhood.  What a dummy.

After that I worked in a really fun job waiting tables in a bar here in Richmond.  While I’m not proud of everything that occurred in that year of my life, I learned a lot from that time and I had a GREAT TIME!  All of my “wild” stories in life come from that year.

And then I hit the motherload of joy.  I was hired part-time to run the youth program at Parham Hills.  I got new license plates “PHCC YTH” (which stood for Parham Hills Christian Church Youth and not for what it says phonetically).  I wore out the church van driving my middle and high schoolers everywhere they wanted to go.  Not only did we go to at least five states for youth conventions, but we had more lock-ins than I care to remember.  When a kid had a game, I took as many other kids as I could with me to see them play.  We had so much fun together.  The two SonicFLOOd songs playing are two of our favorites.  We had big plans for the future…
My teens were the best and it was great to be so young that I was close enough to their age to have fun, but old enough to know where the lines needed to be drawn.
I remember Rebekah phoning the mother ship with her braces…and Timmy nearly getting us kicked out of a Target (he wasn’t doing anything bad, I promise)
I remember standing in a room of 2000 people with my teens around me singing “Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble”…I remember how it felt when we got to the line “Swing Wide You Heavenly Gates…Prepare the Way of The Risen Lord…”  How moving it was to hear that many voices singing those words.
I was so sad to give up my position as youth director, but I had taken a full-time job and my time was so stretched that I was no longer meeting the needs of those teens.  I’ve always missed leading the way…someday I’ll get to do it again.  As soon as Ella is old enough to tag along.

Then, I met Jeff (see previous post for more on that)…and had Ella.

Ella who will be two years old tomorrow.

Ella who helped me bake her birthday cake:

Does it get any better than this?  I think so…and I can’t wait.

Profession of Love

Jeff and I went away this past weekend.  Mom and Dad had offered to keep Ella while we took a trip to their trailer in the Outer Banks.  We left Friday night after Jeff got home from work and stayed until after lunch on Sunday.  We had a great time…Just us.  We felt a little selfish about leaving mom & dad to care for our child, but they made sure we understood that they were looking forward to a weekend with their granddaughter.

We ate (and ate and ate) at most of our favorite places.  We started at The Jolly Roger for breakfast on Saturday.  Then we drove down to the Hatteras Lighthouse, where Jeff proposed June 17, 2005.

We stopped at Bodie Lighthouse and Coquina Beach on our way back up to the main drag of the Outer Banks.  We played Putt-Putt, something we LOVE to do together and have done since we were dating.

We ate lunch at the Beach Road Grill (Mahi sandwiches).  We shopped in the Used Bookstore.  Ya know, when we were dating we used to go to the Target near Willow Lawn and walk around, then next door to the Barnes & Noble and look at books for hours.  It was relaxing and we enjoyed spending that time together.  We looked at travel guides and picked out places we wanted to go.  We got coffees and just relaxed.  Granted, at the Used Bookstore there was no Starbucks in my hand or comfy chairs to get cozy in…but the feeling was there.  We were together, looking at books.
We went to the Home Depot and got a Hardy Palm (my pick) and a new doormat for our front porch.
We ate dinner at Barefoot Bernies – “our place” – which we discovered 3-4 years ago when the battery in the Jetta died the day we were supposed to come back to Richmond and we were trapped without a car for a couple days while one was ordered.  We walked everywhere we needed to go – including a couple trips to Barefoot Bernies to eat since that is close to the trailer.
I actually did not get my usual steamed sampler and ordered an actual meal this time.  I think I even shocked Jeff with that move.

Sunday, we got up and went to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and then we visited the Wright Memorial.  We shopped at The Compass Rose for 75% off pots to use in our backyard and I got a new pashmina scarf that Jeff picked out for me.  And we played more putt-putt (five games in two days – Jeff winning three of them and me losing my title of “Champion”).  We finished our weekend with lunch at Goombays.

On the way to and from the beach we talked.  On the way home, Jeff specifically started talking about our relationship.  He went back to the beginning.  Nope…not our first date…the REAL beginning.

You see, Jeff was first introduced to me and my first husband when I was engaged to my first husband.  We met at Amanda & Adrian’s “villian” themed Halloween party.  It wasn’t a pretty night – I was sick…so sick!  I barely remember meeting him since I was nearly asleep on the couch while the guys played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.  However, I was also dressed as catwoman so Jeff remembers me well.

A month after that, I got married.  I didn’t see Jeff again until that May when he was a groomsman in the Amos’ wedding and I was singing.  I was still married, though very unhappily.  I still didn’t pay much attention to the people around me…too focused on myself again and my unhappiness in life.  I do remember that he missed the rehearsal (ironically, my husband stood in for him) and barely made it to the rehearsal dinner.

That October we once again met up at the Amos’ Annual Halloween Party.  At this party, I asked him to flip my Corona for me since my thumb was too small to seal the mouth and get the lime to the bottom.  He obliged and again, ended up playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with my husband.  Such a strange, strange world looking back… 

A month after that, I was getting a divorce.  It had nothing to do with anyone outside of my marriage, so don’t go getting any fancy ideas.

The week after announcing my separation I was substituting at Dumbarton Elementary and Leigh Foley pulled me into the clinic to tell me something that she was sure Amanda and Adrian wanted to tell me themselves, but she couldn’t hold it in…(I was sure she was going to tell me they were pregnant, but that wasn’t it)  She told me that one of their friends, Jeff, had a crush on me.  A crush that started way back at that very first introduction.  WHOA!
According to his friends, Jeff wanted to ask me to dance at Amanda & Adrian’s reception, but didn’t because I was married and his friends wouldn’t let him.  Talk about blowing your mind.

I know that it is somewhat disappointing to him, but I don’t count all of that in my story of our time together…regardless of how disappointing my first marriage was, I was still married and would never have even cast a glance in any direction – true now in my marriage to Jeff.

I first met (with eyes wide open) Jeff Cronin on December 1, 2000.  After Leigh revealed the secret to me, I called Amanda just to see what was up.  She and Adrian were estatic and immediately set up a night out – a huge group outing – to which I brought another friend as my “safety”.  We shot pool at The Triple and then decided to drive across the James to see the city lit up with Christmas lights.  Jeff offered to drive me and I ditched my safety and let her ride with the Amoses while I got in Jeff’s car.  Of course, we only drove to Jeff’s apartment and parked his car, then got into the backseat of Amanda’s beetle with my friend (yep- three of us in the backseat of a beetle) and headed across the river.  Since I was dressed to impress, I was not dressed sensibly…  Jeff, being the gentleman that he is, wrapped me up in his coat to keep me warm.
At the end of the night, he gave me his business card (with only his work number) so I could call him if I was interested.  I called Adrian the next day and got Jeff’s number at home.  I was definitely interested.

We went on our first official date on December 8, 2000.  Jeff took off from work early – something I didn’t realize at the time was MAJOR!  His friends nearly keeled when I told them that he picked me up before noon on a weekday (it was a Friday).  He brought me star-gazer lilies, which are now my favorite and were featured in my bridal bouquet.  We went to the Galaxy Diner for lunch and then walked around Carytown.  I still have the jeans I wore that day.  After hours of walking around we walked through the Fan to Video Fan to rent a movie (Shakespeare in Love which Jeff will never watch again) and then headed to his apartment where he cooked me dinner (Shake-n-bake Chicken).  We talked and kissed and snuggled on the couch until late and then he drove me home.  I later discovered that taking me home so late on a weekend night meant that he had to park about seven blocks from his apartment when he got back home.  Thankfully, he thought I was worth it.

We had a fun courtship that included a camping trip in the Outer Banks after we had been dating for just five months.  Seriously – I went tent camping with this guy so you know I was trying to impress him!  He was my date to Josh & Ellyn Foshay’s wedding at the end of that week of camping.

On our trip this weekend he asked me when I knew that I loved him.  I didn’t answer his question well.  I obviously had very strong feelings for him before that camping trip because in the weeks following it I was put in the position by a couple friends to choose between them and Jeff.  You can see who I chose.

I know I was in love with him before that year’s Halloween because I was sitting next to his friend Chris at the Amos’ annual party when I told Chris that I was in love with Jeff.  I hadn’t told Jeff yet.  I didn’t tell Jeff until Jeff said those magic words to me first.  I used to be able to quote the date, but I can’t remember that any longer.  I just know where I was when I heard them.  It will always stay with me.

The first three songs on the playlist today:  “To Make You Feel My Love” (sung by Adele), “When You Love Someone” (sung by Bryan Adams), and “That’s How You Know It’s Love” (by Deana Carter) took on new meaning when I was dating Jeff.  I had heard them all before dating him and I had always loved all three of them, but suddenly with him…they meant so much more.  I knew what we had was special – legendary – the stuff they write love songs about.

There was a time in our relationship when Jeff was unsure of our future.  That was a scary time for me, because by then I knew that I loved him totally.  About that time the movie “Hope Floats” came on t.v.  I’d seen it and I really liked it, but one of the songs from the movie stuck with me.  Because I was sure of what Jeff and I had, even if he wasn’t and the song put into words exactly what I was feeling:

To Make You Feel My Love (by Bob Dylan)
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin’ sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
In the song it says, “I’ve known it from the moment that we met”.  That moment for me was on December 1, 2000.

Honey, I can’t tell you the moment I fell in love with you, but I can tell you that it couldn’t have been long after we started dating.  You were my “Mr. Wonderful” and I could see our future before you could.
And look at us now…I wouldn’t change a moment of my life before you because here I am with you now…married…with Ella…perfection.

I know I don’t always make you feel my love in the best way, but I do love you more today than yesterday and I will love you even more tomorrow.