I know…I know… I resolved at the turn of the year to blog once a week. I also admitted that I’m not a great blogger. I want to be! I really do! But I have so much competition that it is hard to do. “What competition?”, you may ask…
I’ve recently fallen in love (read: become obsessed) with reading other mom’s blogs. These blogs are by women PAID to blog! They have advertisers and business cards and the like. I’ve just happened upon them through references by other moms. For one, there is the ever-amazing Kelle Hampton. Her blog alone makes me question who the heck I am thinking I can write enough inspirational and/or funny mom material to encourage people to read my blog! Lately, I’ve found a few others. One is Stark. Raving. Mad. Mommy. HYSTERICAL! Her letter to Dora the Explorer made me nearly pee my pants on a bus full of teens. I was laughing so loudly that I ended up having to read it out loud to those sitting nearby so that that were able to appreciate my laughter. There are others, but they are bookmarked at home and not on this laptop.
Today, I just feel like writing so I am. I usually don’t write because I’m not sure if what I have to say in interesting or worth the time others would spend reading it. Today, I don’t care if this is interesting or worth your time…I just feel like sharing.
Last night was one of those priceless nights in life. I was exhausted…I still have not recovered from the sleep deprivation that comes from Music & Drama week and Ella took very short or non-existent naps this past week, so there wasn’t much down time to help in recovery. Anyway, I was exhausted and therefore a bit impatient and not nearly jovial enough to chase Ella up and down a hallway 100 times. However, I was in a simple trailer on the Currituck Sound for dinner with my grandmother and her friends. Let me further explain – at dinner last night were my grandmother, my great-aunt, my aunt, my mom, me and my daughter (as well as three other very good friends of those listed above). How often in life do you get to have four generations of females all from one family sitting at dinner together? How often do you get to watch your not-quite-ninety-year-old grandmother hug and kiss on her not-quite-two-year-old great-granddaughter? Granny (now called G.G. since she is Ella’s G.reat G.randmother) will be 90 in October and very shortly after, Ella will be 2. Beautiful. Mom and I fall in between them. My great-aunt Evelyn (where my name comes from and now referred to as E.E.) crawls along the floor, runs through the house, and plays all sorts of games with Ella. It is amazing to watch this spry 86 year old play with a child with such ease. She has more energy than I do!
Then last night, I sat on the bed with my mom and aunt just talking. I love these times. They can’t be duplicated or recreated. They just are. We talked about raising children – they’ve raise six between them (not counting grandkids who lived with Carla at times) and I’m raising my first. Their words of wisdom are appreciated and welcome (even if I’ve heard them before and I’m sure I’ll hear them again). This morning, the four of us went to Dunkin Donuts for coffee & breakfast before Aunt Carla headed home. It was nice and something I want to do over and over again with Ella.
And it isn’t just about MY family. I LOVE the women in Jeff’s family. I want to spend time with them – just the girls – as Ella grows older. I want her to have a strong sense of the women who travelled this earth before her, preparing it for her. I also want her to know the men in our families, but today I am very focused on the women. Why? Because I am one and one day she will be one too. Her last name will change to something not nearly as wonderful as Cronin just as I left behind McCrickard. I never had the name Stewart or Edwards (my mother and grand-mother’s maiden names), but I wear them with pride. From my dad’s side, I have the Maxey nose….from my grandmother. I also have a touch of her temper, but I try to keep that in check.
I want Ella to know her family. Deeply. I want her to know their stories and it scares me that she may not ever have the same long conversations that I have had with my Granny. Of course, she’ll have her own long talks with HER Granny Mac.
I didn’t want a girl. I wanted a boy. So badly that when they told us at the ultrasound that it was a girl I had them recheck it. NOW, I only want my girl. If we were to have another…I want another girl! I LONG to be the mommy of two girls. I almost feel crazy saying that…but then I think about last night. Yes, it would’ve been just as wonderful with a toddling boy running about…I’m sure. And I don’t want to get slammed by all you moms of boys – I love you! God knows it! My mother in law had three boys and I swear she’s an angel in disguise for doing it!
But last night was MAGICAL! Four generations of WOMEN from ONE FAMILY line….
Thank you, God, for my family. Thank you, God, for my Bean.