Friendships

So, Ella has been napping (in her swing) for an hour.  I prioritized and worked on church stuff first, so hopefully she’ll snooze long enough for me to blog too.  We’ll see…

This past weekend I had the priviledge to serve as a bridesmaid for one of my longest & dearest friends, Christie Lynn Grubbs (now Christie Brust – that sounds odd).  Christie and I have known each other since we were youngish – late elementary, I think.  We met at Oak Hill Christian Service Camp and saw each other at area-wide church things.  She was perfect.  So smart – she could sing you anything you wanted to know about the Bible and probably still can.  We both attended Music & Drama camp and both returned to become counselors of that week.  That is where our bond formed.  There was one particular summer where there was a shift in staffing at M&D.  For those of you who don’t know – this is a RARE thing.  We had two female staff members choose to do other things leaving Christie and I as the two “young” staffers.  We stayed together a lot on tour that year.  And we’ve stayed close ever since.  When I was planning my wedding to Jeff in 2006, it was Christie (co-deaning with me by then) who would meet me at church, take me by my shoulders and say, “Okay – now we need to talk about CAMP for one hour.”  She is a great grounding force.  She was my bridesmaid that year and I returned the favor this year.  It was nice to get to wait on her Saturday since it usually works the other way around…especially with Ella tagging along.  I’ve said it on facebook and now I’m saying it here.  IT WAS A HONOR TO STAND BESIDE CHRISTIE AT HER WEDDING.

I’ve had lots of friends in my life; and quite a few “best” friends.  My first “best” friend was Melissa Crane.  We went to Skipwith together.  We spent a lot of time at each other’s houses, too, since we lived around the corner from each other.  After I moved to another school zone I had three besties: Mary Hairfield, Carrie Cauthorne, and Lisa…oh, I’ve forgotten Lisa’s last name.  We also had coordinating boyfriends who were best friends too.  It was fun.  Our parents actually dropped us off at Ridge Theater for a group date in fourth grade.  What parent now-a-days would drop off six 4th graders saying, “See ya in two hours.  Don’t cause trouble!”  None.  I can recount that day in great detail.  Especially that they had two theaters showing the same movie (ours) and we lost Jason & Lisa and did cause trouble trying to find them in the middle of the movie.  I’ve lost touch with all those people these days, but that was so long ago.

I changed best friends in middle school.  I started with a girl named Jenny and ended up with a gal named Miranda – who remained one of my besties until 2001 when a large fight split us up.  There won’t be any details of that here.  I will say that Miranda and I were “those” best friends.  We dressed alike – not always matching (but yes sometimes head to toe), but we loved to buy the same exact outfit in two different colors.  We were always “the same, but different”.  I still love that phrase.  We switched houses for a weekend and lived with each other’s families.  We kindof stole a car together when I was 16.  (We BORROWED it – it was going to be Miranda’s but she was too young to drive and we needed to go rent movies.  I say “stole” because we in no way had permission to drive that car anywhere.)
When I got to RBC (now MACU) in 1996, I ran into a childhood friend named Erin from whom I became inseperable.  She had a roommate, I didn’t.  Her roommate had a computer and Erin’s t.v. worked better in my room on the opposite side of the building.  So, her room became the study haven and my room became the place to chill.  Since I had an empty bed, Erin spent lots of nights in my room.  I even covered for her (and a handfull of other gals) after accidentally telling a staff member (who was dating Erin) that we’d watched “Seven” (rated R).  I wouldn’t confirm that I watched with with anyone other than myself.  Luckily, I escaped major punishment, too.  She was in my first wedding and I was in her only wedding.  Our friendship lessened after we were living in different states, then cities, and now countries.  I’m friends with her on fb, but have yet to send her the message I have started a hundred times.  I want to tell her everything that has happened since we lost our closeness.  There is just so much to say…especially that I miss her very much.

I didn’t have any good girl friendships for a while after that.  Actually…not until 2005 when Melissa Hess moved to town attached to the church’s new youth minister.  Mo and I quickly bonded and she quickly became like a sister to me.  We went on trips together (with and without our hubbies) and there was a point in time that we did something together every Friday or Saturday – and sometimes both.

Around the summer of 2006, I also became good friends with a former camper – Bobbi Jo.  Now, to know Bobbi Jo is to love Bobbi Jo.  Well – for me.  She’s one of those people who you’re gonna love her or you’re not, but there is little inbetween.  We were both bridesmaids for Christie this weekend and one of the stylists (not Kathy, but her coworker who doesn’t know us well) asked if BJ and I were sisters because we bickered/picked with each other like sisters do.  It was a great feeling to be mistaken for her sister.  I a certain brother-in-law would get to a point he was ready to date someone seriously, I’d be hooking BJ up so that we really could become sisters.  Oh, that would be FUN!!!

Then, along came Ella.  Wow – how my world changed.  Jeff and I could still choose to do something on Friday and Saturday night, but that would require (1) exhausting our moms as they alternated care or (2) paying Katie Quinn a lot of money to babysit.  Needless to say that our social life has suffered.  People actually stop asking you do things after you have a kid – do you know that?  People just assume that you’ll say no.  We’re adjusting to this new form of life okay, though.

After about 6 months of being home and not being very social (we did take Ella to the Hess’ new years eve party and I was feeding her as the ball dropped), I needed some mommy friends.  Gals who had little ones too and could talk “shop” with me.
[Ella wakes up screaming…be back later]

And thus began my venture into the world of RichmondMommies.com.  Thanks to that site I have found four good girl friends (Amy, Bridget, Katie and Whitney) who I get together with at least once a week (with our kids).  As seen on a previous post, we went out withOUT our kids on my birthday and are planning to do something for Whitney’s bday this month.  And this Thursday night Amy and I are heading out to a preview for a consignment sale this weekend.  They’re having give-a-ways and other vendors on hand offering discounted and free services.  I’m so excited.

There are other friends not mentioned here – my sister-in-laws, for example.  And I didn’t go into detail about the fact that I didn’t have many female friends at all until the last five years.  That is when I met girls who weren’t girly-girls and then met a few girls (Bridget) that are girly-girls and inspire me to want to be girly…sometimes…

I guess the point is that friendships come and go; or change as life changes.  I wouldn’t trade any of my friendship experiences.  They’ve made me a better person.  I savor my friendships now.  Like all relationships, friendships require work.  I’ve always known that, but now I’m proactive about it.  Who are you favorite friendships?  Have you thought about it lately?

Okay – back to my angel.  Gotta Go!

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